[	Current Mood	|	Playful-	]
[	Current Music	|	Fuck Forever - Babyshambles	]

;just having fun with my "dee-ass" :]

[	Current Mood	|	Calm -	]
[	Current Music	|	Thats Not My Name - The Ting Tings	]

;Really glad theres kick-ass internet connection here at Great World City.
Didnt waste my energy on carrying my Mac all the way from Burlington.

Work's as usual, same ol' thing. Sitting here on this high stool, eyes about to shut. ( i nearly typed "shit") Oh, & i also started reading the book that Justen bought for me, Piercings by Ryu Murakami, after keeping it for a hell long time.
The book's really interesting, thrilling - the word to describe it. Started reading it yesterday.


..Hours have passed. Its 6:41pm now & i have just finished reading Piercings. The ending was so exciting & thrilling. Im so surprised with myself that ive just read a book in 2days! Thats a hell new record for me. I usually take months to finish reading an average size book & maybe a year or more for a Harry Potter one. Im ending work soon, how great. Gracie & Baby's reaching soon, then we're gonna have dinner together :]

; i love it when you "schnuffle" your face in between my shoulder & face :]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
JON JON!!


;DOOMSDAY WAS AWESOME!
& kinda twisted.

;To steal a soul or a moment in time
It’s a wonderful invention and art
Snap a photo here, click a frame there
Just a moment in time
Trapped forever in it’s frame
And put upon your wall
Such as you would shoot an animal
And mount it’s head
But isn’t that all photography is?
Isn’t that all hunting is?
An art, trapping something forever
Capturing something that will be stared at
Possibly admired
For the rest of eternity
Is this what art has become?

;I feel so hurt right now.
-disappointed, i might say.

;HAPPY 5TH MONTH, BABY! :]

;My eyes were each bitten by a damn mosquito, okay!


;Chilling with you at Vivo's Rooftop was so much fun.


Thanks for dinner at Marche, honey.
I really loved it.
Many more surprises to go! :]
I LOVE YOU.

;Finally done with presentations!
Now theres a whole lot more to go.

;hands as white as a ghost.

I hate you each time I close my eyes;
Reality interferes with fading thoughts inside.
A smile misleads and draws me near.
I love the way you reduce me to tears.

My spirits distract and dissolve my prism
confronting beliefs and rendering their prison.
And as they keep in their dissonance,
I hold prayers and wish for your presence.

Yearning your glance hinders improvement
As I enter your aura and refuse movement
you aim a smirk and urge me away.
And the heart I gave, you continue to fray.

So bless my lips and string me along
serenade me with your suicide song.
Because with you, my smile is a sign of bluffing
but without you, my whole existence means nothing.

;its getting lighter,
getting browner :]

;I WANNA CHANGE MY HAIR COLOR.

;Im really lethargic.
My eyes can hardly open anymore.
Im really lazy.
I can hardly move my arm.

I just want to give up now,
but i cant, and i dont want to.

HAPPY
APRIL FOOLS DAY
LOSERS.

;yeah, Gavin, you got me okay.

As days go by
And fade to nights
I still question
Why you left
I wonder how
It didn’t work out
But now you’re gone
And memories all I have for now
But no it’s not over
We’ll get older we’ll get over
We’ll live to see the day that I hope for
Come back to me
I still believe that
We’ll get it right again
We’ll come back to life again,
We won’t say another goodbye again
You’ll live forever with me.

Someday, someday
We’ll be together
Someday, someday
We’ll be together

I heard someday,
Might be today,
Mysteries of destinies they
Are somehow
And are someway
For all we know
They come tomorrow
For today
My eyes are open
My arms are raised for your embrace
My hands are here to mend what is broken
To feel again to walk on the face
I believe there is more to life
Oh I love you much more than life
And still
I believe I can change your mind
Revive what is dying inside

And someday, someday
We’ll be together
Someday, someday
We’ll be together
Someday, someday
We’ll be together
We’ll be together
We’ll be together
SOMEDAY.

;TODAY NEVER FELT ANY WORSE.
-but it isnt the worst day of my life.

Lets play Hide-and-Seek.

;Okay, so ive got to show my lecturer 18 sketches [6 full coloured]
and 6 mock-up greeting cards tomorrow. and now, what ive got is just
7 pages of research and THREE FCUKING SKETCHES!

yes, im so dead and no one can help me! well, i can actually do it
digitally which i preferably think it would be much easier, but as
pathetic to say, i dont even have the disc to install the Adobe necessities!

-PLEASE, IF ANYONE HAS THE ADOBE PHOTOSHOP/ILLUSTRATOR
THINGY DISC, CAN YOU BE A SWEETHEART AND LET ME BORROW
FOR A DAY TO INSTALL IT :]
[but does anyone know if the ordinary disc can be used for Mac as well or must
i need a Mac adobe disc to install it.]

;IVE FOUND MY DIARY!
hee, it was stuck against the wall, under the bed all along :]

;wow i look so hot with my face scrunched up.

;i look like ive got a mustache!

;No father figure in the house
And i'm wonderin' how i'm gonna work it out

Oh my friends keep on tellin' me how i don't need that man
But they don't really understand

There's far too many presures in reality but dealing with the pain and stress and poverty
And i gotta be myself because there's nobody else for me (ohhhh)

(Heading there with me) Sometimes it takes a different kind of love to raise a child
(So don't give up) So don't give up
(When pressures come down) Sometimes it takes a different kind of dream to make you smile
(So raise it up) So raise
(Hang in there with me) Sometimes we need another helping hand to show the ways
(So don't give up) So don't give up
(When pressures come down) Sometimes it seems impossible and that's why we pray
(Wo raise it up) We raise

Seems to be nothing left for me mommas gone daddy didnt wanna be
And now im all by myself wonderin where is love
Or should i just give up, you know

Life falls down on me,
Cuts into my soul but i know i got the strength to make it through it all cause im still standing tall
Breaking through this wall im gonna give my all, heyaaah

Feelin like a motherless child,
Hankered into my soul
Its bringing me down cant find my smile on a face of a motherless child
Im gonna break down these walls gonna give it my all you know
Yeah yeah yeah yeahhhh

(Hang in there with me) Sometimes it takes a different kind of love to raise a child
(So dont give up) So dont give up
(When pressures come down) Sometimes it takes a different kind of dream to make a smile
(So raise it up) So raise it up
(Hang in there with me) Raise it up
Sometimes it takes another helping hand to show you the way
(so dont give up, when pressures come down)
Sometimes it seems impossible thats why we pray
SO RAISE IT UP!

;First lesson of specialism class for me,
third for everyone else in foundation :] daaaamn.

It actually feels good going to school but the feeling of
dragging my lazy ass off the bed before that sucks.
~And i gotta fcuking buck my shit up for schoooool!!

IN SEARCH FOR MY MISSING DIARY.
-HAS BEEN LOST FOR WEEKS, I MISS IT :[

;COMPLETELY LOST WITHOUT WITHOUT YOU.

.BBQ PARTY.

;Gracie's awesome full sleeve done by baby!

;She's the loser :] but i still love her. NOT!

;The blondies.

;Pout, Smile, Pout, Smile!

;Alee, Flamingo, Gracie, Jon!

.GUESS THE BUTTS.

;KHAI'S & CHIN'S.

;JON'S & FLAMINGO'S.

;FAI'S & ARD'S.

;ALEE'S & GRACIE'S.

;NIZAM ZAM ZAM.

;KHAI, FLAMINGO, CHIN, GRACIE, ALEE, ARD & JON!

yippee, finally my uggs have arrived.

;SECRET, covert, stealthy, furtive, clandestine, surreptitious, underhanded mean done without attracting observation. secret implies concealment on any grounds for any motive secret location>. covert stresses the fact of not being open or declared <covert intelligence operations>. stealthy suggests taking pains to avoid being seen or heard especially in some misdoing stealthy step of a burglar>. furtive implies a sly or cautious stealthiness furtive glances>. clandestine implies secrecy usually for an evil, illicit, or unauthorized purpose and often emphasizes the fear of being discovered clandestine meeting of conspirators>. surreptitious applies to action or behavior done secretly often with skillful avoidance of detection and in violation of custom, law, or authority surreptitious stockpiling of weapons>. underhanded stresses fraud or deception underhanded trick>.

;There are more unknown things to be untold. Things to be kept to myself. For who can i spit it out, a bottle? the mirror that preys my reflection, maybe. I dont know what to do, how to react or should i react. Things are jumbling upside down in my mind, for i keep thinking the worst out of things. May things be good as always, may WE seven-minus-four be as close together forever. "I LOVE YOU" and "I LOVE YOU TOO".

GRACE KIM SOO HYUN,
HUN, PLEASE DONT LEAVEEEE!

;Leap Years was a great movie, especially watching it beside you, baby.
With my arm around yours and my head resting on your boney shoulders,
it was so relaxing and comfortable. :] heeehees.

Bucket full of tears at the end of the movie.
Especially after so many things have been happening between us.
Those serious talks about us.
So many true sensible words in the movie that made me relate it to us.

Baby, i love you so.

Your Secret's Safe With Me.

;Something so big to be kept and untold - its hard but its a must.
I find that things have moved quite a bit nowadays. We arent that
cheerful like we used to be, so close like we used to be, and now you
throw me this big part of new you into me that i have to keep, forever,
only me to know. Im trying really hard to do so. Really hard.

Youre just so lethargic these days. I understand. Lack of sleep.
But i missed those times and things we used to do together.
Chit-chatting over the wee hours, laughing till i forget the word
"sleep". But i could hardly even say the word "goodnight" out
loud to you now. One minute we're talking on the phone, or
just messaging each other, the next is just SILENT.
Not a word, not a reply.

When my phone lights up, I immediately pick it up, thinking
its a reply or your call that you said you were gonna call back
in 5mins, which an hour has passed, but it was just "BATTERY FULL".

I miss you alot, ALOT.