;talked to C & G last night, & yeah obviously it really did open my mind.
hah poor G's annoyed at the fact of my stupid mindset. & C, well she's
annoyed either, hahaha yeah. sorry babies!

anyways, i promise to move ONE STEP AT A TIME, & try my best
not to take 4 steps back okay. you babies are my best support.
i love all of you girls <3 size="5">


;JON, NIZAM & ARD!

I'll miss you three army boys hell loads!
takecare & come back soooon :]

;talking to C for the past nights was actually really cool.
we get to rant at each other all the stupid crap we've been through,
hahah its really heart warming to know about each other.
& what has been going on between our lives.
sweetie i know its frustrating but chill babe :] youre strong hun.
lets meet up soon okay, maybe after i get my tattoo.
then we can flaunt it babyy. takecare youu & yes i will stop hurting myself.

really, i wanna get this over, i really do. its such a waste of time.
i feel so so so stupid at times, hah do laugh at my stupidity please.
i feel useless, so betrayed, so owned biggggg time sometimes.
so not worth it man, so not worth. how you walked on me like this.
shed no more tears you, grow up, im a big girl now. & i dont need a man.

i just need to concentrate on work right noww. peace out fellas!
-

;FUCK ME FOR FUCKING UP BOTH HANDS.
im sorry baby.



-but i honestly dont regret.

;LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GOOOOOO!

Alicia, don't cry, I know
[You're trying your hardest]
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all [that] I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I would give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

Because I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need it

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been [three whole days since I've had sleep]
Because I dream of [her] lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that [I'm not that strong]
And I miss the lips that made me fly

-kill me, somebody.
let me fly, fly high.

-

;sometimes i really dont know what im doing.
i feel so lost, & like so blur & stuff.
it sucks when im like this.

its like i never know what im doing.
& gosh it aint funny at all mann.

im so tired, 6am, gosh!
alrights, peace out.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANG GUANGREN, you bitch.

-imissyou,
which sucks.

;HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY GRACIEBABY!
youre 18 now hunn, no big deal to youu though.
but anyways, i hope you love the present!
& my stupid card for youu, hahah ILY BABYGIRL.

too bad the photos taken with you are in your cam! :[




;i just wanna drink my sorrows away baby.
i need someone here with me, to hold my hand.
i yearn for someone's touch, someone's love.
so much that i missed that i cant even remember.

;HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY MUHD BABY!

gosh my first legal night of clubbing, at Zouk, Phuture.
to celebrate gren's advance birthdayy, hahaha.
fucking bastard got dead drunk mann, funny shit!

anyways, the night was okay.
met Gene & Leo, my hairdressers, tsk!
& also Simon, & yeahh heehee interesting.
Music was hella boring mann, like "Dont Speak"??
& "Girlfriend", peww-ewww.

Hopefully next time it'll be better.
nights yall, i lost like 18bucks to the air..

;i am so fucking tired.
yeah i know ive been saying this line for so long already.
but its true, i havent been sleeping much, its only a few
hours a time. its so hard to go on like this, i dont wanna
end up having dark circles man. it aint cool.

school has been so stressful, i wanna cry.
im really trying to catch up as much as i can but
theres always some distraction going on, sighh sucky.
but seriously thanks to you too, for the encouragement
throughout. youve been the one tryna pull me across the
sinking ocean. thankyou. i dont wanna fail again, it
seriously is not fun okay, you know how it feels, hahaha

we're gonna work hard together, but i bet you'll definitely
pass, you hardworking freak!
its already 4am now, school starts in 5hours.
i gotta wake up in 4hours time. not cool not cool.
super sleppy, & ive not finished my work.
imma prepare to be killed tmr.
hand's turning purple! :[

You might not agree with a close friend,
but you need to respect their opinions.

"Your healthy ambition is driving
your personal life right now -- set some big goals."

;HAPPY BIRTHDAY
TO ME!
im finally eighteeeeeen.

;I am so so so so so so damn lethargic mann.
Im about to die, collapse, faint, & start snoring on the floor.
Havent been sleeping much these days, sigh.
School is so stressful, its not funn at all, not fun!

I dont know what to do no more.
I feel so lost right now.
Everything's gonna be a rush as usual.

SNORE SNORE.

'lets get this party started.

;i admit im stupid for fucking up my hand.
im sorry to hurt those who cared about me.
im sorry to hurt you guys when i hurt myself.
im stupid.



you guys are my strength.

i love you guys millions.

;ITS ALL CLEAR NOW.
:]

Aicha - Outlandish. [justin says i can swap my name in this song.]

So sweet, so beautiful
Everyday like a queen on her throne
Don't nobody knows how she feels
Aicha, lady one day it will be real

She moves, she moves like a breeze
I swear I can't get her out of my dreams
To have her shining right here by my side
I'd sacrifice all the tears in my eyes

Aicha Aicha, passing me by (there she goes again)
Aicha Aicha, my my my (is it really real)
Aicha Aicha, smile for me now
Aicha Aicha, in my life

She holds her child to her heart
Makes her feel like she is blessed from above
Falls asleep underneath her sweet tears
Her lullaby fades away with his fears

Aicha Aicha, passing me by (there she goes again)
Aicha Aicha, my my my

She needs somebody to lean on
Someone body, mind & soul
To take her hand, to take her world
And show her the time of her life, so true
Throw the pain away for good
No more contemplating boo

Lord knows the way she feels
Everyday in his name she begins
To have her shining here by my side
I'd sacrifice all the tears in my eyes
Aicha Aicha, ecout moi

Aicha Aicha, passing me by (there she goes again)
Aicha Aicha, my my my (is it really real)
Aicha Aicha, smile for me now
Aicha Aicha, in my life

Aicha Aicha (there she goes again)
Aicha Aicha, passing me by (is it really real)
Aicha Aicha
Aicha Aicha

;im addicted to this song now, thanks to you justin fool.

;Thanks MTV for playing great songs
& accompanying me through my
late nights of doing assignments :]

-heehee!

I would dig a thousand holes to lay next to you
I would dig a thousand more if I needed to

I look around the grave
For an escape route of old routines
There doesn't seem to be any other way

Cause I've started falling apart
I'm not savouring life
I've forgotten how good it could be
To feel alive

Crazy as it sounds you won't
Feel as low as you feel right now
At least that's what I've been told by everyone

I whisper empty sounds in your ear
And hope that you won't let go

Take the pieces and build them skywards

Cause I've started falling apart
I'm not savouring life
I've forgotten how good it could be
To feel alive

I've started falling apart
I'm not savouring life
Take the pieces and build them skywards
I've forgotten how good it could be
To feel alive
Take the pieces and build them skywards

Take the pieces and build them up to the sky


-

; "its for my ex-girlfriend" -he says.


-

;Im glad things are over now.
Im glad at least you gave me a last kiss.
Im glad at least you called me baby for the last time.
Im just glad we had that last talk.
& Im glad we're good friends now.

Thank you for the past 8 & a 1/2 months.
It has been the best time of my life.
Thank you for being a part of my life.

but you dont know how much

i still love you.

-

Lay a whisper On my pillow
Leave the winter On the ground
I wake up lonely There's air of silence
In the bedroom And all around
Touch me now, I close my eyes
And dream away.

It must have been love
But it's over now
It must have been good
But I lost it somehow
It must have been love
But it's over now
From the moment we touched
'Til the time had run out.

Make-believing We're together
That I'm sheltered By your heart
But in and outside
I've turned to water
Like a teardrop In your palm
And it's a hard Winter's day
I dream away.

-

;i miss you okay.
i really do.

-

;started the morning with puffy eyes.
& school was such a bore bore bore!

you didnt come today, at all.

-

can you tell me whats going on?

i need to talk to someone.
can i talk to you please.
you, whoever you are.
i dont need to know you.
really, i dont.
i just want to talk to you.

what did i do to deserve this.
what what what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i dont know what to fucking do. i wanna be fucking strong man.
i can fucking survive this, i know i can fucking do this but i dont know
whats fucking pulling me down. school's fucking starting. i need to pass.
i cant let this fucking thing destroy it. i need fucking strength.
please fucking help me. please.

You said, it wasn't gonna be like it was before.
Then it happened again.
Pushing me back out the door.
Thought it would be for real this time.
Love me forget about the signs.
So now what do i do?
Now that I know that we're through.

Wish that I could move on
Can't let go, it's too strong
Just like that and then you're gone
If this how you wanted it to be?
Everything you had to say
Sent the tears right down my face
Now I'm trying to escape
The misery

Why don't you love me?
The way I'd loved you
It feels so crazy
'Coz I don't know what I did to you
If you're gonna hurt me
Then do it quickly
'Coz I'm tired of cryin'
If you don't wanna stick around
Then, baby forget about me.

Too late, sorry.
I didn't have the chance
You said you were happy
Baby, I don't understand
Gave you everything you asked for
And was ready to give you a lot more
I would've given you the world
Right in the palm of your hand.

Forget about me.
I really love you.

;nothing to type,
nothing to say.
just goodnight.
im so damn mother fucking tired.


-

;GRACE KIM IS BACK YALL.

-

It's awkward and silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
When you mean it I'll believe it
If you text it I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh, I'm not coming back
You're taking seven steps here

The seven things I hate about you
You're vain, your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends they're jerks
When you act like them
Just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention the seven that I like

The seven things I like about you
Your hair, your eyes
Your old Levis
When we kiss I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine
When we're intertwined
Everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you


-

;happy 8th month, paychin baby.


-

;LOVE

;Pinky Triangle's photostream on Flikr.
I adore adore her photos.

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung
Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy
There's nothing you can make that can't be made
No one you can save that can't be saved
Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

There's nothing you can know that can't be known
Nothing you can see that isn't shown
No where you can be, that isn't where you're meant to be
It's easy

All you need is love
All you need is love
All you need is love, love
Love is all you need

;Work in the morning as usual, then met baby in the night for dinner. Baby wanted to have a buffet so we went to Parkway Thai Restaurant & had our dinner there. The food was alright, but at most baby & i had fun :] Walked around parkway & chilled there, took the bus home together.

I love taking the bus with him, even though i can actually count the number of times we took the bus together. I just love taking the bus, looking out the window on rainy days - like such in the movies..but i wont take a bus when its raining though, hees. Work tomorrow againnnn!!! I hate the [waking up early] part, totally. ~GOODNIGHTSNIGHTS

;WEBCAMING WITH
GRACIEPOOH!!




;girl, i miss you so much.
it was so awesome that you finally got a webcam :]
hahahas it was so much fun, lets do it again okaay.
thats if we actually could meet up on msn at the right time.
come back soon okay, cause ive got so much stuff to talk to you!
Please takecare of yourself, & have fun babygirl.

-tsk i didnt show my face cause i was makeupLESS!

;hees i wrote at the back of this piece of paper
-photocopied painting i did for assessment.
LOVE YOU, GAN PAYCHIN.

[	Current Mood	|	Exhausted.	]
[	Current Music	|	I Wanna Hold Your Hand - TV Carpio	]

;Today's the start of the first day of work at ---, & daaamn the waking up uber early part totally brings me down down down. Tour the place with this guy J [ he's weird weird weird ], then he taught me the basic stuff & things to know about the place & whatnot. My stupid table where i'm assigned to sit at has no computer nor phone! & so i changed to another table with a computer...but no phone, this company is ----! :]

For the past hour or two, i wasnt doing any shit, just sitting there, making myself look busy, teehee! then soon, this lady came & dump me this big huge pile of POs to arrange according to their names, omgawd, my shoulder actually ached doing that! hah, then as the system was down & my computer needs a password to log in, in which no one knows, so had to call the IT guy to come fix it, but nobody came, dumbdumb, so went to sit at another table & was taught how to key in stuff into this new software, geez it was kinda tricky but i managed it [ by drawing every step-by-step method on a paper, including drawings! ] hahah.

Finished work at 6pm! finally the countdown is over, hahaha but at least its much better then working at Great world, where 15mins felt like 5hours!! goodness gracious, hopefully Gren's having fun there, hah hah :] met baby for dinnerrr, went to Rail Mall, Blooie's. Awesome food & atmosphere & ended up really full, geez.

Gotta sleeep soooooon! if not i'll most probably end up sleeping at work tmr, like a pigg!

You’ll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It’s such a feeling
That my love
I can’t hide
I can’t hide
I can’t hide

Yeah you, got that something
I think you’ll understand
When I feel that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand

;Woke up & took the long ass train ride to baby's house todaay. Chilled there & stuff. Then had dinner at some hawker centre at night which sells really cheap food! goodness, the plate of chinese mixed vegetable rice [without vegetables] that i bought only cost about two freaking bucks. I had a shock when the uncle told me the price.

Baby's house was awesome to chill at, but so freaking far :[

[	Current Mood	|	Jumpy-	]
[	Current Music	|	The Potion - Ludacris	]

[	Current Mood	|	Sleeeeeeeeepy-	]
[	Current Music	|	Notorious Thugs - Scary Kids Scaring Kids	]

;GEEZ, finally today's my last day of work at Greatworld!!! I am totally sick & tired of this boring ass place, holyy coooow. & im about to fall asleep on the table at this very moment. Just finish eating Ham & Cheese Croissant from Starbucks, i didnt know there were yucky lettuce & cucumber in it, peeeww, had to remove them so that i can eat my croissant :]

Talking about Starbucks reminds me of GUH-RACIEPOOOOH!! i miss that bitch, whos now in Koreaaa, ass. She'd always be coming down to Greatworld & visit me, with the same routine of going to Starbucks & order her White Chocolate Mocha Frap. Today's my last day of work at the cart & she isnt here!!!! :[ *SOBB SOBB

IMUSM, GRACIE! COME BACK SOON ALRIGHTS :] & today, baby's sick too, so he couldnt come down & visit me on my last day of work, today suck! & i cant go over to baby's place cause its so daaamn far! i'll most prolly fall asleep in the MRT & miss my stop, teehee!

[i have a hugeee ass temptation of eating fries, but nooo its too damn unhealthy :[]

[	Current Mood	|	Saaaaaaad :[	]
[	Current Music	|	The Blowers Daughter - Damien Rice	]

GRACIEPOO HAS GONE
BACK TO KOREAAAA!!! :[

;IMY BABE







.

WE MISS YOU TONS, GRACE!

[	Current Mood	|	Exhausted-	]
[	Current Music	|	Time After Time - Cyndi Lauper	]

;Well work's over. Im sitting here at the stall waiting for Gracie & Chin who are
supposed to meet me after work at 7pm but its already 8:15 Pm
& those two darlings are not here yet.

Anyways, today had Subway Melt for lunch with sis, greeeaaaaatt!
SUBWAY'S AWESOME!! & its healthy too :]
ate california roll at around 6pm, tempted to eat Macs, but naah.