;It's a Fucked up world; What a Fucked up place
Everybodys judged by their Fucked up face
Fucked up dreams; Fucked up life
A Fucked up kid with a Fucked up knife
Fucked up moms and Fucked up dads
and a Fucked up cop with a Fucked up badge
With a Fucked up job with Fucked up pay
and a Fucked up boss that's a Fucked up day
Fucked up breasts, Fucked up lives
While lethal's in the back with the Fucked of the five

Ain't it a shame that you can't say Fuck?
Fuck's just a word and it's all Fucked up
And a Fucked up punk with a Fucked up mouth
And Nine inch nails is getting knocked the Fuck out
Fucked AIDs from Fucked up sex
and fake-ass titties on a Fucked up chest
Your all fucked up, so whatcha wanna do?
Fucked up me, and fucked up you.

You wanna Fuck me like an animal
You like to Burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug;
Just know that nothing ya do, will bring you closer to me

Ain't life a bitch? a Fucked up bitch?
A Fucked up sore with a Fucked up stitch
a Fucked up head- It's a Fucked up shame
swinging on my nuts is a Fucked up game
Jealousy fillin' up a Fucked up mind;
It's real Fucked up like a Fucked up crime
If I say Fuck two more times;
That's 46 Fucks in this Fucked up rhyme

;hah its hilarious, super interesting.
filled with rage, wanna pull all your hair out.
you fools. fools fools :]

HAH how interesting i might sayy, really.

;Having a bad ass headache now, feels like a fever coming up.
sigh i hope not, i cant afford to fall sick now, i've still got so
much more work to do, sigh. I cant take it anymore. I really
wanna give up, but i fucking cant, i fucking cant!

I feel so so tired. These days been having diarrhea, & also bad
dreams, nightmares. I somehow feel like something's gonna
happen, to me or whatever. I dont feel so well. Im scared.
I really am. I dont know whats happening, or is there something
that someone or something is trying to tell me? sigh.

I need rest, yeah maybe its cause ive not been sleeping well
for i dont know how long already. I really need someone
to hold my hand & be with me. I cant take this no longer.

GET THIS FUCKING OVER & DONE WITH PLEASE.

;MAX PAAAAAYNE with ah poh yesterday night.
it was cool, hahaha i had a great laugh, thanks! :]

-movie was not bad i would say. it was thrilling for me.
not much for ah poh im guessing. hahaha

& I GOT A BAD ASS SHOCK AT ONE SCENE.
FUCKING LITERALLY JUMPED FROM MY SEAT.
AHAHAHAHAH SO EMBARRASSING!!

;these days ive been heading to school & fro by bus.
im actually proud of myself, taking the public transport.
hee & the best. i, well had no choice, so took a morning bus
to school for 9am class on tuesdayyy. hah funny thing is
my sis dropped me at Parkway bus stop & EIGHT AM
to take a 15mins bus to school but i ended up reaching
school at 9am sharp, why? cause i purposely missed 3
to 4 bus 48 because it was so fucking crowded!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha but yeah, no choice, last one i had to take or i'll
be late but well, it wasnt that bad, thank gawd. i seriously
dont get how these people can sqqquuuueeeeze their way
to work or school like this. its MAD CRAZY OKAYYYY.

Anyways, now i know what youve been saying. Bus rides
alone, with your own music blasting in your ears. Its
just like your own world for that moment. Nothing to
think about, but just listening to your music, & enjoying
the trip back home. Its relaxing. Now i get what you & him
are trying to tell me. i miss you both, alot :]

;im a full red-head againn :]
& redhead's really really tired.
-really really stressed out.
-really really bummed out.
-really really wanna get this over & done with!

:[

;Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along
Babble, Babble, Bitch, Bitch
Rebel, Rebel, Party, Party
Sex, sex, sex, don't forget the violence
Blah, blah, blah
Got your lovey-dovey sad and lonely
Stick your stupid slogan in
Everybody sing along

There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

FUCKING TIRED< GOODNIGHTS!
SCHOOL TMR, KILL ME :[
-YOU GET WELL SOOOOOON KAY.

;if we were still together, we'd just passed our 11th month.
next month, it'll a year already. cant believe it.
hah, we've been parted bout 2months already, & im actually
rather impressed with myself at the time ive come about of
getting over you. I really thought it'd take months & months.

I guess im wrong. & im glad i am. I really do hope youre doing
well. I've not seen you for some time already, we've not talked
for so long, & i really do miss you, miss your company.

Since we seldom meet now, i wish you all the best okay.
I hope youre happy. Cause, well, i am :]

lots of love. <3>

;WHY IS IT SLANTED!
IT AINT SUPPOSED TO BE!
DAMN IT DAMN IT.

FUCK YOU =P


If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance on me
's all I ask of you honey

We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we're together
Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better
'cos you know I've got
So much that I wanna do, when I dream I'm alone with you
It's magic
You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair
But I think you know
That I can't let go

:]

;im super super tired, it aint funny.
been sleeping only a few hours, then long hours,
then naps, then short hours of sleep, sighh.
its been so irregular i cant take it no longer.

but i cannot give up mann, i cannot fail again.
it so isnt fun at all, no no. it seriously aint cool.
sigh wheres my determination, my perseverance,
my discipline, my strength.

is it true, what i heard. its been in my mind
these days. i dont know what to do, how to
react. hopefully its gone before i knew it.

i need love.

;seriously, dont fool around with me.
i aint a nice person to mess with okay.

i will fucking dig your eyes out.

dont play me like this.
it aint funny.

you'll get payback someday.
someday.


"death is a promise and his life is a fucking lie
and if he thinks he is alive then tell him he is better off dead" -online buddy.

;i seriously cant wait to
get my tattoo done!! :]

;talked to C & G last night, & yeah obviously it really did open my mind.
hah poor G's annoyed at the fact of my stupid mindset. & C, well she's
annoyed either, hahaha yeah. sorry babies!

anyways, i promise to move ONE STEP AT A TIME, & try my best
not to take 4 steps back okay. you babies are my best support.
i love all of you girls <3 size="5">


;JON, NIZAM & ARD!

I'll miss you three army boys hell loads!
takecare & come back soooon :]

;talking to C for the past nights was actually really cool.
we get to rant at each other all the stupid crap we've been through,
hahah its really heart warming to know about each other.
& what has been going on between our lives.
sweetie i know its frustrating but chill babe :] youre strong hun.
lets meet up soon okay, maybe after i get my tattoo.
then we can flaunt it babyy. takecare youu & yes i will stop hurting myself.

really, i wanna get this over, i really do. its such a waste of time.
i feel so so so stupid at times, hah do laugh at my stupidity please.
i feel useless, so betrayed, so owned biggggg time sometimes.
so not worth it man, so not worth. how you walked on me like this.
shed no more tears you, grow up, im a big girl now. & i dont need a man.

i just need to concentrate on work right noww. peace out fellas!
-

;FUCK ME FOR FUCKING UP BOTH HANDS.
im sorry baby.



-but i honestly dont regret.

;LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GOOOOOO!

Alicia, don't cry, I know
[You're trying your hardest]
And the hardest part is letting go
Of the nights we shared
Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting
But compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright
And when we look to the sky, its not mine, but i want it so

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight
(I know he's there)
You're probably hanging out and making eyes
(while across the room, he stares)
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor
And ask my girl to dance, and she'll say yes

Because these words are never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best

You're all [that] I hoped I'd find
In every single way
And everything I would give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

Because I know I'm good for something
I just haven't found it yet
But I need it

And this will be the first time in a week
That I'll talk to you
And I can't speak
Been [three whole days since I've had sleep]
Because I dream of [her] lips on your cheek
And I got the point that I should leave you alone
But we both know that [I'm not that strong]
And I miss the lips that made me fly

-kill me, somebody.
let me fly, fly high.

-

;sometimes i really dont know what im doing.
i feel so lost, & like so blur & stuff.
it sucks when im like this.

its like i never know what im doing.
& gosh it aint funny at all mann.

im so tired, 6am, gosh!
alrights, peace out.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANG GUANGREN, you bitch.

-imissyou,
which sucks.

;HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY GRACIEBABY!
youre 18 now hunn, no big deal to youu though.
but anyways, i hope you love the present!
& my stupid card for youu, hahah ILY BABYGIRL.

too bad the photos taken with you are in your cam! :[




;i just wanna drink my sorrows away baby.
i need someone here with me, to hold my hand.
i yearn for someone's touch, someone's love.
so much that i missed that i cant even remember.